My family can’t multi-task and it is driving me more than a little bit crazy. The other day I was stirring oatmeal on the stove with my right hand while unloading the silverware from the dishwasher with my left hand pondering just what to do with these sluggish people. If I had an extra hand or could manipulate my toes like a primate, I can guarantee I would be accomplishing some third mundane task as well. And try as I might, I can’t seem to get these other 3 people in this house to MOVE IT ALONG. Even Misty The Wonder Dog poops a bit slowly for my liking. Sniffing for the perfect spot to unload your business — is this really necessary?
Honestly, I don’t know what my big hurry is ~ ~ step it up so that I can get what, exactly, accomplished? Living in a house as rambunctious as our feels like shoveling snow in the midst of a blizzard. For every juice box I salvage from the kitchen table, two more will materialize. For every 2 socks I save from Bradley’s floor, 6 more will appear. For every newspaper section I retrieve from….oh, wait….that’s me, the newspaper reader. But you get my point.
Husband Scott is just about the worst, as far a slow moving goes. He is laid back, nearly to a fault. It’s so ironic that what I adored and admired about him as we were dating (and the 25 years of pre-dating friendship) — easygoing, even tempered, punctilious — is driving me nutty now. Come on, buddy, get a little fire in your belly! Must it take 3 minutes to back the car out of the driveway? Move it, move it, move it! The more I bitch, the more he intentionally begins to act like a two toed sloth walking uphill backwards while blindfolded.
This sort of passive aggressive behavior amuses only him. If I ask him a series of question…”Hey, how about chicken for dinner? And ya wanna watch that Bruce Willis movie tonight? Oh, did you get the mail yet?”…his response is a predictable “Uh huh”. Excuse me?! “Uh Huh” to WHAT? So I have to back up, slowly enunciate each question and patiently await his slow and deliberate response.
I…..am….Scott…responding… so…..very….slowly…until…I….drive…you…insane.
Good grief, by the time all syllables leave his slow motion lips I could care less about the damn chicken and I am out the door to get the mail myself.
The University of Michigan did a study several years back to analyze the efficacy of multi-tasking. The determination was that juggling several duties at once did not improve either overall performance or efficiency. Further, it was revealed that multi-tasking actually may lead to short term memory loss and may very well even make you “stupid”. Ouch.
I don’t buy it. Maybe this scenario works if all tasks are complex, but in my Stay At Home Mom/Freelance Writing world, many tasks are just simply banal and repetitive. Laundry….every day. Cooking…three times a day. Pick up miscellaneous junk in every room of the house…every moment of every hour. Drive people here, there and everywhere…all the time. Mail and email pieces to editors…daily, if I’m lucky.
So if I can do more than one thing at once, why wouldn’t I? You know, I am not exactly doing brain surgery in this house ~ more like brain draining. I just try to keep these dawdling single-taskers dressed, fed and healthy. Oh, and happy too. I didn’t mention that? Really? Yes, that is at the top of the list ~ happy, happy, joy, joy. Even if it means pouring bowls of cereal while calling my Mother on the phone as I pick up Polly Pockets with my oh so limber toes. It’s only when Polly is floating in a cereal bowl and the phone gets put in the fridge that I think those researchers may be on to something. What was it again that they were studying?
by:
Sue De La Bruere
by: Sue De La Bruere
Tags: Modern Mom, Mom multi tasking, Mom's that multi-task, sloth family, slow people
July 18th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
That’s great