“Dad Lured Son Home, Then Shot Him”
This is the headline I am confronted with as I peruse online news sources hoping for a Michael Jackson tidbit, or something about Michelle Obama’s new shoes. Violence has been a part of American society for an eternity, but it seems that in recent months people are more apt to act out violently towards their own loved ones. In some cases, it is a result of helplessness and misery over the recent economic crisis that continues to cast a shadow over this great country. People that don’t want to go down alone, opt to take everyone dear with them.
I am forever bewildered by the murder-suicide concept. If you want to off yourself, have at it. But to make that awful decision for innocent bystanders, much less those closest to you, is just a moral outrage. While it is an impossibility, I would love to get inside the head of such a person. Is this a controlling and hostile act? Is it an act of great misguided love? Is it just a mishmash of confusion, pain and hopelessness?
And back to the economic crisis theory…this is far from profound or original, but money should never be a deciding factor is whether you live or die. People can be happy as pigs in mud with very little money and people can be troubled and sad with loads of cash to spare. It isn’t the lack of money that truly drives some of these people, it is more the helplessness and uncertainty. Not knowing if they will get another job. Not knowing if they can pay their mortgage payment. Not knowing if they will have to trade in their SUV for bus passes. All moderately terrible things, to be sure. But not life altering and not life ending.
So what is the salve for all of this, short of a miraculous and immediate economic rebound? Gee, if only I had those answers. But since I have space to fill, I would proffer this:
* Keep your lifestyle and your expectations low key.
* Never allow money to define you.
* Hit the delete button on the words ‘shame’ and ‘guilt’ from your vocabulary.
* Be honest and realistic.
* Always have a back up plan.
Remember, too, that people on the edge don’t just wake up one day in that precarious position. They creep there ever so slowly and those around them should take note. “I wish I were dead”, “We’re done for”, “My life is over” and “I can’t take one more minute of this” is not idle, attention seeking nonsense. These are clues that loved ones should pay close attention to. It’s good for them and a safety net for you. Pay attention.
by: Sue De La Bruere
Tags: economic crisis, helpnessness and misery, murder, online news, suicide, violence
July 3rd, 2009 at 1:30 am
Well written!
It is a shame that we hear the clues to someone that is depressed but don’t always respond correctly.
July 3rd, 2009 at 1:43 am
Wonderful writing Sue!
July 16th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
Greatly written.
American society needs to get away from the control that money has of our emotions if we are to ever survive this economical situation.