I am so excited that Kat has asked me to be a part of this wonderful magazine.I am looking forward to getting to know everyone who is a part of this magazine and the readers.
I will primarily be writing inspirational articles, but from time to time my articles will vary, I like knowing I can write about anything.
Today I decorated my house for Christmas. It made me reflect on last Christmas.
At this time last year my mother was in Hospice care. She had suffered a double stroke 16 months earlier. At first we thought there was a chance she would recover. But the damage was too much for that to happen. She was paralyzed and had many other issues.
Amazingly enough she could still talk and remember the past and all six of her children. At times she was so clear you would not have thought nothing had happened to her. As time went on she began to get aspiration pneumonia and urinary tract infections over and over again. It got to the point that she could not eat regular food because her throat was damaged from the stroke. She had to have puree food and drink it. Her quality of life was slipping away.
After treating her many infections, it was clear they were not going to go away. Her health was failing. The Doctor said there was nothing more that they could do. My siblings and I discussed the situation and we knew what we had to do as painful as it was, we had to let her go. She had fought and suffered long enough. My brother being her health care proxy had to sign her into hospice care. The Hospice care began around Thanksgiving.
When Christmas came around she was very weak and heavily medicated, but could still converse with us. I wanted to buy her a gift for Christmas, but every time I went into the store, no gift seemed right. I froze in a way. I could not handle the fact that I was buying her the last Christmas present from me. After a few attempts to buy her a gift, I just gave into the fact that I just could not do it. The shiniest diamond would not have brought her a moment’s happiness or peace. I don’t think she was fully aware of any gifts she did receive.
Now that I am reflecting back to last year I think I know why I could not buy that last gift. Even though I was in a lot of pain my instincts knew the only gifts she needed that Christmas were spiritual.I realized I was giving her those gifts every day.
I gave her the gift of time, by leaving work to be with her as much as I could.
I gave her the gift of comfort as I held her hand when she was scared.
I gave her the gift of unconditional love as I kissed and hugged her when she needed it the most.
I gave her the gift of peace when I told her everything will be alright, and I would take care of my brother Jimmy who she lived with for 20 years.
I feel the last gifts I gave her were the best gifts I had ever given her. The gifts she had taught me throughout my life, by example.
Take Care,
Dolly
by: Dolly
Tags: Christmas, gifts, Hospice, Mother, reflection, writing
